Pediatricians and psychologists are finding today's parents are too permissive. They are reluctant to set limits for their children. And this benign parental neglect is harming kids from the ages of nine months to adolescence.

Karen Stabiner writes in the New York Times: "It seems that the parents of today's parents, those strict disciplinarians of the 1950s and early '60s, may have been right all along: father and mother did know best…."

Nancy Samalin, a parent educator in New York City, sees both single- and two-parent families as overwhelmed. She says, "Parents want their children to love them, and it's harder to say no than yes, especially if you've been working all day and you're tired."

Telling a child no is essential to raising healthy kids, according to Linda Rubinowitz, psychologist at the Family Institute at Northwestern University in Chicago. "It gives the child a sense that you really understand what's going on. And it gives the child a way to deal with a problem in a social context. You can tell them, 'Say your mom and dad won't let you do it, and grumble if you want.' That's face saving for the child."

Revetta Bowers heads the Centre for Early Education in Los Angeles. She says schools are replacing parents. "Schools now make rules, which in many instances are the only rules that are not open to arbitration or negotiation. What children really need is guidance and love and support. We expect them to act more and more like adults, while we act more and more like children. Then, when we're ready to act like parents, they bristle at the retaking of authority."

In other words, you can't leave it to Beaver.