Our culture tells us we can be real selves only if we claim our right to self-satisfaction and self-fulfillment. But a free self knows he becomes a genuine self by making commitments to other people—promises that he intends to keep even when keeping them exacts a price.

Some people ask, "Who am I?" and expect the answer to come from their accomplishments. Other people ask, "Who am I?" and expect the answer to come from what other people think about them. A person who dares to make and keep promises discovers who she is by the promises she has made and kept to other people.