Our paradigm of what a Christian life is supposed to be hugely affects whether we become bitter or not. So many of the people I work with are dealing with disappointment. Disappointment with themselves— and I sure understand that —disappointment with other people, and disappointment with God because he doesn't do what we think he's going to do.

I got one of the most interesting letters at the 700 Club from a young woman in her mid-twenties who had cancer and MS. She said, "Sometimes I watch your program and I'm helped, and sometimes I want to take my shoe off and throw it through the screen."

I was so fascinated by her honesty, I called her. We became friends. One day she said, "One of the things I hate about what you do is you always present people whose marriages get better in 10 minutes, people who get healed, people who have the nice, packaged answers." She said, "What about people like me who are dying and still love God? What about people who take very few steps, but every step leaves a big impression in the snow because it costs every ounce of strength they have left?"

She changed my perspective. Christianity is not this nice "everything's going to work out okay" attitude. When you think of Christ at the tomb of Lazarus, he wept because it wasn't supposed to be like this. He had spoken this beautiful world into existence and it was so broken, so messed up. I think one of the greatest gifts we can give is just a dose of reality that life down here is disappointing, that God doesn't always give us answers, but he does always give us himself.