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Andy Stanley on the New Rules for Sex

Pastor Andy Stanley gathered with about 250 singles to answer questions on the topic of love, sex, and dating Attendees were asked to write their questions on cards and turn them into the moderator ahead of time. The most pointed question of the night came from a middle-aged gentleman. His card read, "I'm divorced. Why save sex for marriage?" Here's Stanley's reply:

Good question. Your direct question deserves a direct answer. If all there is to life is this life, if you are merely a predator and women are prey, if sex is just physical and disconnected from the concept of permanency, exclusivity, and relationship, then I can't think of a reason not to have sex with as many women as you can convince to hop into bed with you."

Stanley commented: "That's not exactly the answer they were expecting from their pastor. My answer was particularly disturbing to women in the audience. Heck, it was particularly disturbing to me." Stanley continued:

But if there's more to this life than what meets the eye … if there is a God in whose image you've been made and in whose image every woman you've met has been made, if sex is a creation that was created with a purpose and if part of that purpose is to enhance the expression of intimacy between two people … and if that fragile, wonderful, delicate experience we term intimacy can be damaged or broken through abuse, then your sexual conduct matters a great deal. So you have to decide what you believe. Not just about sex. About everything. Once you decide, the answer to your important question will be clear. Perhaps uncomfortably clear.

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