Being someone's friend used to mean something, until Facebook came along. Now we are "friends" with many people we don't even know that well. So the New York Times asks "Do your friends actually like you?" According to the story, "Recent research indicated that only about half of perceived friendships are mutual. That is, someone you think is your friend might not be so keen on you. Or, vice versa, as when someone you feel you hardly know claims you as a bestie."

So, if this is true let's try and define what true friendship is. Alexander Nehamaz, author of On Friendship, says "Friendship is difficult to describe. It's easier to say what friendship is not and, foremost, it is not instrumental." The story goes on to say, "[Friendship] is not a means to obtain higher status, wangle an invitation to someone's vacation home, or simply escape your own boredom."

So, what is friendship for in this increasing digital age? Nehamas says, "… Friendship is more like beauty or art, which kindles something deep within us and is 'appreciated for its own sake.'" The challenge is moving away from seeing and showcasing friendships as an enhancement to our personal image. As Ronal Sharp, professor of English at Vassar College, says in the article, "It's not about what someone can do for you, it's who and what the two of you become in each other's presence."

Possible Preaching Angle:

So, a true definition of a friend according to this story is "… friends are people you take the time to understand and allow to understand you."

Source:

Kate Murphy, “Do Your Friends Actually Like You?” The New York Times (8-6-16)