Sermon Illustrations
Loving Children Takes a Physical Toll on Parents
Quartz reported on new research confirming that “Being a good parent will physiologically destroy you.”
Researchers surveyed 247 pairs of parents and their adolescent children on how often and to what degree parents could understand their children’s feelings and respond with appropriate concern. They also took blood samples. Empathetic parents and their children were both better off psychologically. Children of empathetic parents also showed lower levels of inflammatory markers. Their parents were just the opposite. Their samples revealed this low-grade systemic inflammation.
Empathy requires us to push our own feelings aside to focus on someone else’s, an effort linked to increased stress and higher inflammation. Empathetic parents may also be more willing to sacrifice their own health for their children’s sake, forgoing things like sleep, exercise, and other activities that could mitigate the stress of caregiving.
The theological implications are pretty rich. The notion that love necessarily takes a physical toll on the one doing the loving may be unpleasant, but it resonates with the gospel. It stands as a reproof to all who might be tempted to scrub the blood off of Christianity. The deeper the empathy, the more severe the bodily impact. Of course, there's a thin line between deep empathy and modern tendency to over-identify with one's children (helicopter), which creates a different kind of suffering.