Editor’s Note: If you have missed any articles in this series, be sure to check out the Introduction article, where you can find all of the articles that have been released.

Walking the Oregon coast, I am learning to pay attention. There is this mysterious advance and retreat. Tuned to the orbits of the sun and moon, tides run their course. In a fishing community, if you miss the tide, you miss the whole day. You go, ready or not. In my walks, I have learned to adjust. In a dropping tide, I stop everything and seize the moment.

So, it is with divine moments. Regulated by the movements of the Trinity, they come and go. And like a retreating tide that exposes the ocean floor, encounters with God reveal things—like our fantasies. Every pastor has them.

What are some of the illusions you have? It is critical God surfaces our myths before we get lost in them. He may do this immediately, shocking us into reality. It may be more gradual.

In his chapter, “Getting Real,” Parker Palmer notes that we are all on an endless journey of engaging life as it is, stripping away our illusions about ourselves, our world, and the relationship of the two, moving closer to reality as we do.

My admission in this chapter is that I have had my own castles in the air. Once they form, they are hard to deconstruct. In talking with other ministry leaders and comparing our fantastic notions, here are seven that stand out.

Myth One: We Are Indispensable

Success in ministry has a way of expanding our sense of necessity. The intoxicating comments—“I so rely on your preaching” or “Your ministry has been critical to the growth of the church”— can inflate our self-perceptions. We assume it is up to us, wondering how the church (the world) would make it without us.

Reality: We Are Dispensable

When we uncritically accept our notions of necessity, we enter a surreal world. We abdicate our personal awareness in exchange for “a dreamlike and selective quality of perception.” If we are paying attention, God posts signs that tell us we are not up to being God, that we are prone to overestimate and overreach. At the very least, human frailty will inevitably force us to reduce our speed.

Who of us do not eventually experience some deep humiliation? God will use the voices of congregants who will subtly—if not overtly—let us know that we are expendable and easily replaceable. It turns out the same person who is over the moon regarding your preaching lavishes the same praise on a guest speaker who, in your estimation, has just preached the worst sermon you have ever heard.

Romans 12:3 serves as a centering word. We need to sober up and think rightly about ourselves, for we can become inebriated by praise and self-praise. To think with sound judgment requires that we engage in the discipline of authenticity. Most of us, as Merton put it, live lives of self-impersonation. To recover reality, we need to strip off our pretentiousness and stand naked before God. Contemplation allows the space for God to penetrate our illusions.

Myth Two: I Need to Find the Perfect Church

Okay, an honest admission. I was not attracted to my first church. It was not what I envisaged. The church was in a section of town known as “Felony Flats.” Church members were nice (some exceptions). They were easily distracted, and any suggested changes were looked upon with suspicion.

I was convinced that once I served my time, I would find my dream ministry. An opportunity would emerge. Somewhere out there is a young and energetic body, an attractive facility in a more upscale location, a more than ample budget, a maturity of spirit and passion for God, and a community on the verge of explosive growth.

Reality: Every Church Is Broken

I’m not sure of the exact moment, but I remember it happened while reading Eugene Peterson’s Under an Unpredictable Plant. Using the Jonah story as a metaphor for vocational holiness, Peterson held up a mirror. I suddenly realized I was Jonah seeking my own Nirvana.

I am not alone. Peterson notes there is an enormous quantity of pretentious romanticism in the pastoral vocation. He writes, “If I succeed in getting anyone’s attention, what I want to say is that the pastoral vocation is not a glamorous vocation and that Tarshish is a lie.” I began to realize that no matter where I serve, ministry is often hard, unattractive work. The grass may appear lush and green on the other side, but every field has its brown spots.

After serving three diverse churches, it is obvious that no matter the context, the church has its cracks and stains and crises. Every community is comprised of a few gossips and an occasional wolf in sheep’s clothing.

Still, this fantasy dies slowly. We are not able to keep still. We are forever looking for the church where everything works, sermons are honored, disciples are made, budgets are met, and the one-anothers are lived out. It’s a search spurred by the idealisms forged in our season of preparation. Biblical heroes, early church fathers, Puritan divines, and church growth specialists created high expectations. The perfect church would meet them. But that church exists in only one place—our imagination.

Myth Three: We Are in Charge of Our Time

Efficient ministry involves creating a plan, establishing goals, setting priorities, and moving to execution. Having a checklist manifesto will ensure our days are productive and ministry is a success. Fresh from the latest time management seminar—and equipped with our personal organizers—we can set in motion strategies to gain greater mastery of our day. Time is ours to control and the future is ours to engineer. We must, for time is short. There are never enough minutes in the day, so it is vital to seize control of the hands of the clock.

Reality: Time Is Not Ours to Control

Managing time is yet another of our illusions. We can no more master time than a mariner the sea, an explorer the wilderness. To get a handle on time is like chasing the wind. The reality is that time controls our lives.

I can log the use of time, but I cannot set it. If I attempt to grasp it, time slips through my fingers like sand. We have no jurisdiction over its extent, no authority over its pace. We cannot determine the time of our beginning or the occasion of our end.

The best we can do in our years of ministry is to make the most of the time (Eph. 5:15-16). Discern the season we are in and exhaust the possibilities (Prov. 6:6-8; 30:25). We cannot order the time, but we can delight in the moments God serves up (Eccl. 2:24-26).

Myth Four: Ministry Is Safe

Life is full of dangerous professions. Roofers, loggers, and miners come to mind. One should also add underground welders and bull riders. But pastors? The risk is right up there with librarians, archivists, and telemarketers.

Just the word “minister” sounds quaint and free of risk. Sure, one could slip in the baptismal or choke on the communion bread, but, really, just how dangerous is it to ponder deep truths in a study, dole out weekly inspiration, visit those in hospice, and preside over funerals? Churches should get a reduced rate when it comes to workers comp insurance. If you are looking for peace of mind, ministry can be your haven of rest.

Reality: Ministry Is Dangerous

That ministry is benign may be one of our greatest fantasies. It doesn’t take long before there comes a defining moment (a critical letter, a personal attack, the sudden overpowering weight of carrying souls, the terror of the pulpit) when naiveté gives way to reality. Soon enough, one is exposed to the toxins of dangerous people that can leave one permanently raw inside.

The intensity, the day-to-day stress, as one pastor put, can make one feel like a teddy bear dragged down the stairs, its head banging on every step. Paul’s letters reveal a deep sense of such anguish. In Corinth and Ephesus, ministry was a life and death struggle. Nearly every aspect of ministry has its dangers. Pastors are called to be physicians of the soul, and this can try one’s greatest skills. If we fail to warn of sin and preach the whole counsel of God, blood will be on our hands (Ezek. 3:18).

Such warnings prompted early church fathers to run for the monastery. Chrysostom cautioned that anyone entrusted with people risks penalty, not of money, but of one’s own soul. Considering the hazards that come with preaching, Barth found that no one risks the wrath of God more perilously than the minister in the pulpit.

If this were not enough, there is an ongoing spiritual war aimed precisely at those who engage in ministry. Baxter warned: “If you will be leaders against Satan, he will not spare you. He bears the greatest malice against the one who is engaged in working the greatest damage against him.”

Safe? Maybe the installation service.

Myth Five: I Will Change the World

Moved by a kingdom purpose, I took in the seminary commencement address and vowed I would change the world. I embraced Jabez’s prayer as my own—“Expand my borders!” I daily voiced Isaiah’s words, “Here am I. Send me!” Who wants to be a mere functionary; we’re called to be visionary!

It’s ordained. From the beginning, God created humanity to be world-makers (Gen. 2:15). History is the story of God raising a Noah to save the world, an Abraham to give birth to a nation, a Moses to rescue his people, a David to rule his monarchy, an Esther to save his people, and a Paul to bring the gospel to Asia and beyond.

Reality: The World Is Not Ours to Change

Ambition is healthy, but if we are not careful, our aspirations can become “perfectionistically exaggerated.” Reality shows us that the world, as well as the church, is not so easily malleable to our efforts.

Change, if it is to happen, begins with the individual. Only then is there any hope of transformation occurring on a broader level. In a defining moment, God made this clear to me. Bursting on the European scene, I was ready to be a catalyst for spiritual renewal. Sharing my vision with a Dutch pastor, I still remember his centering response: “My hope is that God might use our church to change the neighborhood.”

As Frederica Matthews-Green put it, we may be able to influence the weather by seeding the clouds, but it is a recipe for frustration to expect that we can direct it. God has not called us to change the weather, but he has summoned us to care for individuals caught up in the pounding storm. Where he takes it is up to him.

Myth Six: Long Term Troublemakers Will Change

Every ministry has its mischief-makers. They will criticize the way things are done and stir up dissension. Marshall Shelley wrote a book about such types, entitled Well Intentioned Dragons. They may not intend to be dangerous, but they undermine the ministry.

Still, given time and patience, dragons shift. The church is a redemptive society, committed to restoration and reconciliation. No matter the trouble some cause, love does cover a multitude of sins. Our responsibility is to show grace and forbearance. Adversaries who made our lives hell will one day be united in spirit with us.

Reality: Long Term Troublemakers Need to Leave

Just as dragons are the stuff of make-believe, so is the fantasy that well-intentioned dragons will change. Some do, but most give little evidence of transformation. They create problems today and new ones tomorrow.

Paul dealt with such types. They threatened the health of the community, deserted the faith, and betrayed the leadership. Some were as dangerous as wolves, even though they appeared harmless. Where sinful behavior prevailed and repentance was ignored, Paul urged the church to expel them.

Rather than hang on endlessly to the hope that differences can be bridged, the church must draw a line. It is necessary to be both gracious and forceful. This requires that a pastor is heeding the will of God and has the backing of the body and board.

Myth Seven: Faithfulness Is All That Matters

Like Paul, what counts when one looks back is that one has fought the fight, finished the course, and kept the faith. One has been faithful to God who is faithful. Whatever the results of ministry, they are God’s to determine. Size of budget, congregational attendance, number of converts, or frequency of baptisms are God’s responsibility.

Aspiring for ministry achievement can be a misdirected focus. Jeremiah saw little, sizeable results from his ministry, Isaiah was forewarned that few would respond to his words, and Paul’s ministry in Corinth was anything but a success. Nonetheless, in the eyes of God, their lives and ministries were a triumph.

Reality: What Matters Is That Our Ministry Bears Fruit

Faithfulness is critical to any appraisal of ministry, but it is an illusion to believe it sums up what matters. There are other benchmarks by which the ministry is measured.

In Center Church, Tim Keller notes that fruitfulness is a more biblical gauge. Faithfulness alone is an “oversimplification.” Jesus appointed his disciples to go and bear fruit. Fruitfulness in ministry requires the careful labor of tending, feeding, watering, and pruning of souls. It is hard, disciplined work with the aim of an abundant harvest.

God has established his own set of measurables by which he will hold ministers accountable (Heb. 13:17). The Parable of the Talents underscores that quantifiable results matter to God (Matt. 25:19). Though we cannot measure ministry with the same precision as business, we still must assess relative to our mission. The church is summoned to be a worshipful community pursuing truth, loving one another, and reaching the lost. It’s important we occasionally evaluate how we are doing.

What matters is that we can rigorously assemble evidence—both quantitative and qualitative—to track our progress. There is the danger we can make it all about the numbers, submitting to the dominion of the very idols that Christian faith is seeking to subvert. On the other hand, when we disregard performance indicators, we can settle for average.

Conclusion

Your list of illusions may be different. Sooner or later, we will face a defining moment in which God confronts our false assumptions and brings us back to reality. Just as we must be careful with our illusions, we must avoid becoming disillusioned. In a low point, we can stop dreaming and begin to believe ministry is a pitiful profession.

But here’s the reality—ministry, for all of its disappointments, is a noble profession. Anglican Bishop Gilbert Burnet, writing in 1692 on the dignity of sacred employment, found that as much as the soul is better than the body, as much as eternity is far superior to this transitory life, so ministry excels all other professions.

John E. Johnson is an adjunct professor of Pastoral Theology and Leadership at Western Seminary in Portland, OR. He has served as a lead pastor for thirty five years, and currently is a writer working on his fourth book, as well as serving as an interim teaching pastor.