In a recent issue of Women's Health, actress Lauren Cohan (Maggie Greene on The Walking Dead) explains how she discovered a way to avoid the comparison trap. The article opens:

While scrolling through Instagram, Cohan unwittingly found herself competing as a contestant in The Comparison Game. You know the rules: Endlessly swipe through friends’ and followers’ successes, then measure your own professional wins and happiness against theirs. Now, if you’ve ever played, you probably know the harsh reality of this game—you can never win.

Lauren’s pause from social media was a key stop on her path to positive thinking. Then a close friend gave her a piece of advice that prompted even more emotional digging. “You’ll never be happy as long as you’re worrying about yourself.”

Lauren says, “It’s because I’m letting my ego spin out of control. I worry about job security, losing something, not getting something, I thought I was supposed to achieve. I just didn’t want that inner monologue anymore.”

Now, when Lauren’s feeling anxious, she chooses to redirect. “I see where I can be useful somewhere else.” She checks in with friends and volunteers at the Atlanta Music Project (an after-school program where kids get help with homework and take music lessons). She explains: “When I’m not focused on my output, I immediately feel so much relief. It’s a relief to remember that you’re a speck, and that there is a big picture, and to get over yourself.”

In other words, she has found that the solution to depression and anxiety just might not be more focus on self, but on others.