“That was a heavy sigh. Is everything ok?”

Over the years my wife has learned to pay close attention to my sighing. It’s an indication that something is going on in my mind and heart that I might not be communicating (and possibly that I am not even aware of). Typically, sighing is a way for our body to alleviate stress and pressure. From a therapeutic perspective, sighing is typically an indication that something is going on, under the surface and in our souls, that needs to be tended to and addressed.

This has been a challenging season of ministry for me. I am often breathing deeply and, in moments of quiet, find my sighs to be labored and heavy. I talked with a friend a few days ago, a man who has spent over 70 years in faithful service to Jesus, about this challenging season of ministry and he told me this, “You know, Josh, Jesus sighed.”

His words were so timely and encouraging. He continued on to say, “Jesus was often overwhelmed in ministry, it’s only natural that we are too.” As I reflect on my friend’s wise and encouraging words, I believe there are three specific ministry sighs that we should pay attention to as we do the work that Jesus calls us to.

The Sigh of Exhaustion

He looked up to heaven and with a deep sigh said to him, “Ephphatha!” (which means “Be opened!”). – Mark 7:34

Mark’s Gospel is, by far, the most action packed of all the Gospels. Jesus jumps right into ministry and miracles and every element moves at a furious pace. Near the middle of the Gospel Jesus makes his way to the Decapolis, a region near the Galilee. Jesus encounters a man, both deaf and mute. The man’s friends beg Jesus to help. Jesus pulls the man aside and, before healing him, sighs deeply.

While we can say much about this moment, it’s important to note that Jesus sighs. Given that this miracle occurs in the middle of the most action-packed Gospel, I am inclined to believe that this sigh is a sigh of exhaustion.

Ministry is hard. We are currently living in a time of high burnout for people working in the church and parachurch world. I tell a lot of my friends that, as a pastor and a counselor, my busiest season begins when the leaves fall and ends when the leaves return. A combination of fall stress, seasonal affect, and approaching holidays creates an odd and powerful type of chaos for marriages, addictions, and mental health crises.

In the last thirty days, I’ve sighed deeply more times than I can count. I think Jesus sighed like that too. I think he sighed because darkness is heavy and hard. I think he sighed at the overwhelming and tiring effects of sin in the world. I think he sighed because he was exhausted.

Are you tired? Are you weary? Are you feeling the weight of sin in your life and around you? Are you paying attention to your heavy and deep sighs?

Something I’ve learned, over the years, is that when I am sighing in exhaustion, it is time to take a break. My sighs (and typically my wife’s comments about them) tell me that I need to take a day away from the world and rest in quiet and solitude. Although Mark’s Gospel is the most action-packed, it is also the Gospel in which we read Jesus “resting” and “withdrawing” in silence and solitude the most.

Dallas Willard wrote in The Divine Conspiracy, “A muddied pool cannot become clear until it is left unstirred.” We need quiet and solitude to allow the “noise and chaos” of sin and brokenness to settle. When we are exhausted, we need to take a break and rest.

If you are sighing more than normal these days, put a day ahead on the calendar for a time to get away and rest.

The Sigh of Frustration

The Pharisees came and began to question Jesus. To test him, they asked him for a sign from heaven. He sighed deeply and said, “Why does this generation ask for a sign? Truly I tell you, no sign will be given to it.” – Mark 8:11-12

A little later in Mark, the Pharisees come to Jesus to test him. They’ve followed him for a while and witnessed him perform miracle after miracle. They’ve pestered and peppered him with all kinds of questions. After several teachings, miracles, and responses to their questions, Jesus sighs in frustration.

A good friend and elder of the church I work at says, “You know what the best part of ministry is? People. You know that hardest part of ministry is? People.” It’s true. Ministry is all about people. And people can be incredibly frustrating.

Probably the most challenging aspect of ministry and soul care work is that people are never finished. You can work for years with an individual or groups and, in a moment’s notice, be right back where you started or, worse yet, ten steps back.

We must be careful of our sighs of frustration. Those sighs are an indication that we are running low on compassion, patience, and empathy. After Jesus sighs in frustration with the Pharisees he immediately leaves them and crosses to the other side of the Galilee (roughly 13 miles or two hours of sailing time).

One of my challenges in ministry is that I am often “reacting” to the needs of others. When ministry work is intense and hard, I can easily meet with client after client (and struggle after struggle) without a break day after day. If I am frustrated, I run the risk of causing harm and lashing out at the people I am trying to help.

It’s a good reminder for me that when Jesus was frustrated he stopped engaging with the people that frustrated him. Are you frustrated? Are you sighing out of irritation? I’ve been there. It’s ok to say, “No. I cannot meet today/this week/this month.” It’s ok to take some time and space away from the people or situations that are frustrating you.

The Sigh of Surrender

With a loud cry, Jesus breathed his last. – Mark 15:37

At the end of it all Jesus has one final sigh. Having paid the price for the sins of the world, he surrenders his last breath and gives up his life. This is a different kind of sigh. It is a sigh that only Jesus can sigh. It is the sigh of completion.

While Mark doesn’t record Jesus’ words “It is finished,” I believe that Jesus’ sigh says it all. The sigh says, “I have done what I have come to do and the struggle is now over. The price is paid. The work is done. Now, I rest.”

I don’t know about you, but I often get trapped into thinking that everything rests on my shoulders. I feel like I need to be there for so many and that I need to see things through. That’s impossible. There is only so much I can do. There is only so much you can do. There is only so much we can do. When we come to the point at which we cannot take on any more it is important to sigh in surrender.

My wife and I were getting ready to go out for a birthday dinner and date night. We had everything set. Her parents were babysitting. We had reservations at a steakhouse. We were dressed up and ready for a meaningful evening. Then I got a call from the local hospital. The spiritual care chaplain asked if I could come and be with a family. Their four-month-old son was unresponsive at daycare and rushed to the hospital. My wife and I drove to the hospital and arrived in time to follow the family to a different facility that specializes in pediatric care.

When we arrived, we sat with mom and dad while the team stabilized their son. After an hour, their son went into cardiac arrest again and the family asked me to join them in the room. The hospital team worked for about an hour and got the boy’s heart back into rhythm. At that point the doctor told the family that the damage to the boy’s brain was too severe and that there was nothing more they could do. I stayed with the family as they made the courageous and challenging decision to take their son off life-support and I watched as that precious, sweet boy slipped away in his mother’s arms.

I was asked to officiate the memorial and celebration of life for the family. Both events were, without question, the most difficult moments of my ministry career. I can honestly say, it took everything out of me. On the day of the memorial, I sat in the room looking at the stage and I sighed. I remember thinking, “Jesus, I can’t do this. This is too much. This is too hard.” I sighed in surrender. I sighed in knowing that I didn’t have it in me to do the work. I didn’t have it in me to say the words. I surrendered everything to the One who surrendered everything for me. Somehow, Jesus gave me what I needed to do what he called me to do.

When we are exhausted. When we are frustrated. When we are beyond our own power and strength. We need to surrender. If you’re in a season of ministry that is causing you to sigh deeply, you’re in good company. Jesus knows exactly how you feel. He sighed. You can sigh too. If you’re in a season of ministry that is taking more than you can give, take time to sigh in surrender and remember that his surrender for you was the ultimate expression of surrender and we can rest in his work, and not our own.

Are you sighing more than usual these days? Is everything ok? Pay attention to what might be going on underneath it all. Remember that Jesus sighed, too. You’re in good company and in good hands.

Josh Zoerhof is the Teaching Pastor for the Fearless Family of Churches and a Corporate Chaplain to local businesses in the West Michigan area. He hosts the “Chaplaincy On The Go” podcast - a podcast devoted to mental, emotional, and spiritual health in the workplace and home.